Tag Archives: Lyrics

In a second story room.

Today’s rune is also Wunjo.

Brand seems to be doing better, in a way that I find difficult to describe in words. In the beginning, it seemed like he was being torn apart, unmade. He had several panic attacks. Now he seems to be radiating profound love and a bright, almost blinding light. I could see the light when he was being torn apart, but this is radiating, not spilling through the rips. And the quality of light is different.

He’s always been somewhat restrained, and tends to hold enough of himself back from anything that he can leave it without it mattering very much (there are exceptions). He doesn’t get emotionally involved in things (exceptions).

I’m very withdrawn because whenever I’m not, I get extremely emotionally involved very easily. And it hasn’t gone extremely well for me.

When he was being torn apart, they asked him something and his response was a very tortured, I want to love everyone!

It feels like that, I think. A strong love that is not concentrated on a single person. It’s colored like unconditional love.

He talked to me a little while last night while I was dealing with meds and deciding that I needed a nap, too. We talked about my fears and issues and his opinions on all of it until he started to slide sideways again due to his chronic fatigue interacting with this in a way that might be a blessing (he sleeps a lot here). Toward the end, when he was sleepy, he announced, think you should kiss him.

Impossible at the present time, but thank you for the twenty or so minutes I laid awake feeling flustered and embarrassed and awkward.

Which is the proper teenage girl reaction for when you do want to kiss someone.

This morning, having woken up several hours before the alarm, I’ve been listening to music (headphones, politely) and reading things, and got stuck on Going to Queens by The Mountain Goats. Music functions as oracles, divinations, messages, and so on. Sometimes from the subconscious, sometimes not.

The ghostly sing-song
Of the children playing double-dutch

I felt the wind come through the window
I felt it turn around and switch back

In a second story room
In Jamaica, Queens

Your hair was dripping wet
Your skin was clean

And the children skipping rope
Tripled their speed

You were all I’d ever wanted
You were all I’d ever need

In New York City
In the middle of July

The air was heavy and wet
The air was heavy;
Your body was heavy on mine

I will know who you are yet
I will know who you are yet