All good thoughts appreciated.

We are going to see another apartment today. This time, in the city. Very convenient to a grocery that accepts food stamps and a bus route that, with one transfer, will get us to/from the train station, that also serves as the place MegaBus runs between Albany and NYC (often less than half the price of the train, with the trade-off that you have to stand around waiting on the sidewalk in NYC for it).

Similarly, the same bus plus one transfer will take me to the Albany location of the main Buddhist center I’ve been associated with.

Also, the bus costs $0.75 for disabled people, though it doesn’t seem like they do free transfers. I could be wrong. Even if they don’t, a two-bus trip would be $1.50 and it’s $1.25 in NYC for two buses and/or one bus and infinite trains.

But the bus doesn’t have a Metrocard sort of thing that you can pre-pay for trips on unless you’re buying weekly or monthly passes, and definitely not the version where you can have your Metrocard ding your bank account for each trip and never have to refill your card. Which is terribly convenient, I must say. But an extremely minor annoyance when the rent is literally half of a one bedroom in NYC ($650 versus an average of $1200). Farther away from Albany, you can get two or three bedrooms for $550-$650, no problem. In NYC, you can’t typically get a bedroom in a shared apartment for less than $800.

I’m very tired and this has been very hard, and been very hard to be firmly optimistic that something will work out and everything that matters to us won’t be lost, somehow. Brand is much better at that sort of thing, because if it won’t work, he will make it work, and we will have a safe fucking place to live if I have to build it myself sort of thing.

But I am clinging to my beloved, who is hope and light and fulfillment.

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